Tuesday, October 24, 2006

A sheepish return

Man, it's been a long time since I posted. Let's see, excuses....excuses.....well, I was sick for the last several days. And I've been catching up with my new favorite show what has all the spaceships and such on DVD. So, yeah, that's all I've got.

College football vs. pro football, in a nutshell: My football teams - the Virginia Tech Hokies and Washington Redskins, sport the reverse record of each other; 5-2 and 2-5, respectively. I feel the exact same way about the prospects of each team this year - crappy. The Skins are in a hole that is probably too deep to climb out of, and will most likely find themselves "playing for the future" (ie. playing this young black thing instead of this old white thing who, incidentally, really digs this even older white thing a whole hell of a lot) real soon. Now, I've been following the Redskins since the time they went from a great team to a league laughingstock - literally, my first season as a fan was the single Richie Petitbon year when the team went 4-12 and let me tell you, the Redskins never play for the future. Sure they pretend for a few games, even a half season maybe, but the lure of the high-profile free agent or forgotten veteran who looks, fleetingly, better than the hotshot draft pick is always too tempting to pass up. I'm already steeling myself for another decade of 8-8 finishes.

The Hokies, meanwhile, should be in a theoretically better position at 5-2 overall and 3rd in the ACC Coastal division, right behind a rapidly-imploding Hurricanes team. The problem is that the team in front of the Hurricanes, the Yellow Jackets, has already beaten the Hokies and only has one conference loss, which means the Hokies would have to win out their conference schedule and the Jackets would have to lose to two of the following teams: Miami, NC State, UNC or Duke, in order for the Hokies to be in the ACC title game. So you've got a combination of 1) a universally-regarded-as-sucky ACC and 2) a Hokie team that likely won't even get a chance to play for the title of King of the Dipshits, and Hokie fans have already written off what will likely be at least an 8-win season as a "rebuilding year". Of course, we're all focused on the day that Ike Whitaker takes the reigns of the offense from the Gummo-ish Sean Glennon - the buzz that he has yet to learn the playbook shouldn't be allowed to detract from the anticipation of that magical day.

The Hokies have a short week this week - a game against Clemson on Thursday follows a Saturday game this past weekend. Sadly, the Tigers won't be able to wear the most hideous non-Oregon uniforms so far this year at Lane Stadium (this monstrosity, which they wore against Georgia Tech), but maybe that's a good thing - it can't be easy to be tough against a team when you can't stop laughing at their clown suits. The Hokies, for their part, have looked sharp this season - most likely, they will break out the mismatched sleeves on Thursday and make me look like an idiot for praising them.

So football season is about halfway over and I'm already looking forward to another year of The Black Presidency. Aw hell, he'll probably disappoint me too, but at least he'll look cool doing it.

Finally, to end this on the completely unrelated note that it so clearly deserves, the last bastion of 80's-reference-based humor that's actually funny and not, you know, incredibly fucking annoying brought up something yesterday that I had completely forgotten about - kids who pronounce the word "crayon" like "crown". Apparently this shit perpetuates into adulthood. How the fuck do you get crown from C-R-A-Y-O-N? I mean, I know kids have some weird speech impediments - I knew a kid who pronounced the word "took" like "cook" which doesn't seem so much like an impediment as it does a kid who's really goddamn confused - but this crown/crayon business should take about 2 seconds to correct. It is imperative on our nation's teachers to indoctrinate kids on the proper way to pronouce crayon, and it's not the same as you would pronounce the name of something that the queen of England wears on her head right before she has another one of her fuck-up kids or their spouses ex-communicated. It's a crayon, and it comes in a big yellow box with a built-in sharpener, unless your family's poor and they buy you some off-brand crayons for which you will be deservedly mocked by the rest of the children in your class.


Blogger David Bowie said...

Yes, your team has provided Paul Lucas with a whole lot of easy copy.

Gilbert is going to own the internet this year. FreeDarko's already ambigious about it. http://freedarko.blogspot.com/2006/10/when-language-dares-leak.html

Tue Oct 24, 07:34:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Craig said...

Between Arenas and Clinton Portis, the DC sports scene has a glut of interesting personalities that we probably don't deserve.

As far as the Hokies and their uniforms, the mismatched sleeves deserve all the mocking they engender, but the Hokies' usual home uniform (maroon jerseys over white pants with orange striping) is completely underrated. Could it be better? Sure. But that dark maroon is a great jersey color, and the Hokies have one of the few unusual color schemes in sports.

Wed Oct 25, 07:01:00 PM EDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Surely "nuclear" is a more puzzling tic than "crayon."

Thu Oct 26, 05:35:00 AM EDT  

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