Friday, January 04, 2008

Na na na na na na na na (Hey!)

I don't know when this picture of Tom Brady started circulating - for all I know, people may have been making fun of his scraggly arms and tiny man-tits (so unlike me) for years, and I'm just catching on now. Whatever the case, in the intervening 8 years since this picture was taken, Brady has turned into the Adonis of Baby-Mamma Drama, and everyone can look at it and say, "look at how cute he used to be! He's all growns up now!" Fun story, cute picture, like showing a baby picture of Will Smith or Hitler or something, so we can all marvel at how someone who is famous used to be young and not-famous (just like us!). But really, the insidious part of this whole affair is, why the fuck does the NFL take semi-naked pictures (or videos, I guess, since this looks like a vidcap) of draft prospects in the first place? I mean, I guess they asked him to strip down to his underwear in order to be weighed, so that all the teams that passed on him can say, "he only weighed 180 pounds (or whatever the fuck), how could we know he'd be good at throwing footballs and reading defenses, two things that are intimately connected to how much a person weighs?" But after they got him on the scales, couldn't they give him some slacks, a shirt, some fucking overalls, something, so he could do his on-spot interview with a modicum of dignity? He's being prodded and looked over like a piece of meat, couldn't you at least pretend that this is a professional process and avoid videotaping him in his underwear too? I have to assume that they have videos like this of all of the players who enter the NFL draft, since Brady wasn't exactly a top-tier prospect coming out of college, so somewhere in the NFL's archives a hard drive is filled with thousands of hours of what basically amounts to soft-core pornography. In the end, perhaps this answers the question of why the NFL is so against allowing players to jump straight from high school to the pros - not because of the level of competition, but because all of a sudden their draft workout videos turn from relatively harmless (yet creepy) documentary evidence of the physiques of 21 year old men to criminally prosecutable child pornography. In any case, I think I know who's running the scouting combine:

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Blogger Lord Benne said...

Hail the glorious return!

I'm working on an NFL mock draft right now. Yes, I like mock drafts.

Fri Jan 04, 03:20:00 PM EST  

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